The 30th-day mark: reflections on resilience, motivation, and accountability:

How do we persist under duress of failure? How can we achieve consistency despite our imperfect human nature?

“Consistency is key”, you often hear from your peers and mentors, it meets your eyes while skimming a Forbes 30 under 30 article. Consistency haunts us because we unknowingly associate the idea with the absence of imperfections, a continuous stream of productivity, a machine-like output. Consistency burdens our thoughts as we drag our exhausted bodies out of bed for an 8 AM lecture, for work, or otherwise. During the past two weeks, I decided to reconcile with consistency by embracing my inconsistencies.

Consistency is a mental game first and foremost, and as a perfectionist, I tend to dot my Is and cross my Ts to a fault. Thus, I decided to embrace a mentality of “rather done than perfect”, I stopped chasing straight As and started focusing on absorbing course material and enjoying the classes I chose for myself. I started worrying less about my GPA and more about the joy of learning. I decided to embrace clashing deadlines and busy weekdays instead of endlessly yearning for the weekend. My “No”s no longer come out as “maybe”s to appease anyone else’s needs before mine. I stopped apologizing for taking care of myself physically and mentally.

Then, I humanized my dreaded “To Do” list. Instead of jotting down a rigid list of book chapters and essays, I embedded every aspect of my life into my list. Every little task that occupied my time and energy was taken into account. I included a section to celebrate positive experiences, acts of gratitude towards myself, and grounding habits. I celebrated my smallest victories and made peace with my shortcomings. And for the first time ever, my “To Do” list authentically reflected the multitudes of my person.

Journaling became my best friend. Whether I had a hectic schedule or I didn’t leave my bed all day, I tried my best to consistently journal my habits. I did so on my own terms, taking into account my limitations, and seeking productive accountability rather than self-flagellation. Journaling grounded me to my beliefs and aspirations in a whirlwind of exhaustion and setbacks.

At the 30th-day mark, I did not create a perfect system, nor do I strive to do so. Because perfect systems do not yield consistent results. My new strategies did not magically fix my shortcomings, they allowed me to move past them and create consistency amid inconsistencies.